Bun-Bun Blues
by Batdude365
Summary: After an unforeseen accident, Bun-Bun gets split in half, much to Lincoln’s dismay.


[The story starts off with Lincoln waking up with his stuffed rabbit, Bun-Bun.]

 **Lincoln:** [holding Bun-Bun] Morning, buddy. I bet you're hungry. Let's go get some breakfast.

[Lincoln heads to the kitchen. Cut to Lincoln and Bun-Bun at the kiddie table, each with a bowl of Zombie Bran.]

 **Lincoln:** Are you enjoying your Zombie Bran, Bun-Bun?

[Lincoln is answered with silence from Bun-Bun.]

 **Lincoln:** I'll take that as a yes.

[Lori, Lynn, Lola, and Lisa are watching the two from the doorway.]

 **Lori:** I can't believe he thinks that rabbit doll is a real person.

 **Lynn:** I know. How pathetic.

 **Lola:** He's 11 years old. He's too old to still have that thing and be so attached to it

 **Lisa:** He really needs to mature and move on from the plush manifestation of a Oryctolagus cuniculus.

[The others look at her in confusion.]

 **Lisa:** The stuffed rabbit our brother has.

 **Lori, Lynn, and Lola:** Ohhh.

[Cut to later when Lynn is outside eating a banana before practicing for the baseball tryouts. She ends up leaving the banana peel on the back doorstep. Cut to Lincoln heading to the backyard from upstairs, with Bun-Bun in his hand.]

 **Lincoln:** You know, Bun? You have been with me ever since I was little, and you have kept me safe throughout tthe years. You're the greatest friend a guy can have.

[Dramatic music plays. In slow motion, Lincoln ends up slipping on Lynn's banana peel, making Bun-Bun go airborrne.]

 **Lincoln:** [while Bun-Bun is airborne; in slow motion] NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[The dramatic music stops and when Bun-Bun lands safely on the grass, much to Lincoln's relief.]

 **Lincoln:** Whew.

[In slow motion, Lola unwittingly drives over Bun-Bun with her princess car, ripping the doll in half.]

 **Lincoln:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Bun-Bun! Bun-Bun! Oh my gosh! [runs over to the ripped rabbit doll]

[The sisters hear the commotion from the kitchen window.]

 **Luna:** What happened?

 **Lori:** [scoffs] Pretty sure this involves Lincoln's doll. [heading outside; to Lincoln] Lincoln, just calm down. It's just a- [slips on Lynn's banana peel] Jeez! Who left that banana peel there?!

[They all head over to a lamenting Lincoln.]

 **Lincoln:** Oh, my gosh! Bun-Bun, you broke in half! Bun-Bun, Speak to me! Speak to me! I need to do CPR! [does CPR on Bun-Bun] 1, 2, [blows]! 1, 2, [blows]! 1, 2, [blows]! Can you hear me, buddy?!

 **Lori:** Come on, Lincoln! It's just a doll!

 **Lincoln:** [panting heavily] Is there a doctor in the house?! Somebody call 911!

 **Lynn:** Ugh! Just put him back together with tape! Or staplers! Or even glue!

 **Lisa:** [sighs] I'll take a look at him. [takes the split bunny up to her lab]

 **Lincoln:** Bless you, Lisa.

 **Leni:** She didn't sneeze.

[Everyone sans Lincoln, facepalms.]

[Cut to Lisa in her room with a surgeon mask on.]

 **Lisa:** OK. The subject has been split completely in half. No one has survived being cut in half. Well, except for that one woman in India. But despite that, let's get started.

[Cut to montage of Lisa using various scientific tools to try and fix Bun-Bun, but to no avail.]

 **Lisa:** Well, nothing's working here.

[Cut to the living room, where the rest of the siblings are on the couch.]

 **Lincoln:** Guys! What am I gonna do without him?! [sobbing]

 **Lola:** Just get over it! He's a doll!

 **Lincoln:** [angrily] Easy for you to say, since YOU were the one who splitted him in half!

[Lisa comes down the stairs.]

 **Lincoln:** Well, is Bun-Bun okay?

 **Lisa:** I'm afraid we lost him.

[Lincoln gasps for air, then he faints on the floor.]

[When Lincoln comes to, he sees his sisters.]

 **Lucy:** I just wanna say I'm sorry for your loss, Lincoln...and that I'd be honored to serve as funeral director. _[holds out a brochure for a business she owns called "Lucy's Lament"]_ I keep an assortment of caskets on hand. Were you thinking shoebox, or for a little more money, mahogany?

 _[Lincoln goes for the mahogany, and everyone is there, in funeral attire, to attend Bun-Bun's funeral. Lincoln cries at a tombstone with the words, 'RIP Bun-Bun'. He then hugs it.]_

 **Lucy:** We are all gathered here today to say farewell to a long-time friend of our brother.

 **Lori, Lynn, and Lola:** This is getting more and more ridiculous by the second! It's a freaking doll, Lincoln! Just get over it already!

[Lincoln quickly rises from his position to glare angrily at them.]

 **Lincoln:** I know for a fact that you did NOT just badmouth my best friend at his OWN funeral! I remember how you've [points at Lori] been with your phone for so long, you actually took the one to make an entire bed for it in wood shop.

 **Lori:** Uh... That was different, OK?!

 **Lincoln:** [to Lynn] And you've been with your football for so long, you've never let it leave your hands, because you glued them together!

 **Lynn:** That's just not true! [unwittingly raises her hands to show them stuck to a football and quickly hides them behind her back]

 **Lincoln:** [starts at Lola] And you... Actually, never mind. It's normal for your age. But nevertheless, for those of you who aren't going to take this seriously, you can just leave!

 **Lynn:** Alright, then.

[Lori, Lynn, and Lola leave the funeral, while the rest of the sisters stay.]

 **Lincoln:** [sniffles] Some sisters THEY are. They're not even going to take the time to attend their brother's friend's funeral.

 **Leni:** It's okay.

[The remaining sisters hug a crying Lincoln.]

 **Luna:** Let it all out.

 **Lincoln:** [lamenting] This is too much for me! [runs into the living room]

[The others follow him.]

 **Lincoln:** Guys, i don't know what I'm gonna do without him! I don't think I could ever move on.

 **Luan:** Let's just see what's on Tv to get your mind off of it, Linc. [turns the TV on]

 **Announcer:** You're watching "Cutting Stuff...In Half." In today's episode, we're gonna cut stuff...in half.

 **Lincoln:** (complains) Why would there even be a show like that?!

 **Lisa:** Well, Linc, they cut stuff in half.

' _Lincoln: '_ **IIIIINNNNN HHHHHHAAAALLLLLFFFFFF!** (cries again)

 **Lisa:** Are you seriously crying jus because I said "In Half?"

 **Lincoln** Yes.

 **Luna:** Come on, Dude.

 **Lisa:** [to the other sisters] Just don't mention anything in half around him.

[Cut to later at the dinner table where the rest of the sisters are just sitting there not doing anything while Lincoln continues to weep.]

 **Lynn:** [while she has something in her mouth] Lincoln, stop crying, look here, have some Butterfinger.

 **Lincoln:** Okay.

[They accidentally break the Butterfinger in half]

 **Lynn:** Wha?

 **Lincoln:** IIIIIINNNNNNNN HHHHHAAAAAAALLLLLLFFFFFFFF! [cries again]

 **Lynn:** Oh, come on!

[Cut to Lincoln in the garage, still sobbing. Lana is just outside working on something.]

 **Lana:** Alright, just a few holes there, and now to cut the wood to the right length. [cuts the plank of wood in half in front of Lincoln] There we go.

 **Lincoln:** IIIIIINNNNNNNN HHHHHAAAAAAALLLLLLFFFFFFFF! [cries again]

 **Lana:** Oops. Ddin't see you there, bro.

[Cut to later when Lynn is practicing swordfighting with Lola's giant teddy bear. Lincoln passes by her door.]

 **Lynn:** Come on! Bring it! [slashes the bear a few times, resulting in a few rips on its torso] Can't you put up a fight?! [slashes the bear in half in front of Lincoln]

 **Lincoln:** IIIIIINNNNNNNN HHHHHAAAAAAALLLLLLFFFFFFFF! [cries again]

 **Lynn:** [groans]

 **Lola:** [comes in and sees her damaged teddy bear] WHY YOU- [tackles Lynn, resulting in a dust cloud]

[Cut to Lori and Leni's room where the sisters are having a meeting.]

 **Lori:** We all know why we're here, correct?

 **Lola:** Because Lynn slashed open Mr. Honeyfuzz? [angrily glares at a bruised Lynn, who couldn't care any less]

 **Lori:** No.

 **Lisa:** Because our brother is still distraught by the passing of his rabbit doll?

 **Lori:** Yes. I can't stand seeing him like this.

 **Luan:** Ditto.

 **Lisa:** I've got a plan. [whispers it into each of the sisters' ears]

 **Lori:** Hmm... It may be crazy enough that it just might work.

[Cut to Lincoln on the couch, still weeping over Bun-Bun. The sisters come back from the store with some bags in their hands.]

 **Leni:** OK, Lincy. Cheer up. We got some Bun-Buns for you.

[The sisters set their bags on the coffee table.]

 **Lori:** [takes out a Oswald the Lucky Rabbit plush] Do you like this one?

 **Lincoln:** That's not Bun-Bun.

 **Leni:** [with a Cuddles plush] How about this, Lincy?

 **Lincoln:** Not him either.

 **Luna:** [takes out a E.B.(Hop) plush] Will this do?

 **Lincoln:** Nope.

 **Luan:** [with a Bugs Bunny plush; in Bugs Bunny voice] What's up, Linc?

 **Lynn:** [with a Bucky O' Hare plush] Hmm?

 **Lincoln:** Nada.

 **Lucy:** [with a Dark Bunny plush] How about this one?

 **Lincoln:** Not even close.

 **Lana:** [with a Buster Bunny plush] Huh?

 **Lola:** [with a Babs Bunny plush] This one?

 **Lincoln:** Negatory.

 **Lisa:** [with a Mr. Herriman plush] Perhaps this will do?

 **Lincoln:** None of you understand. It's not about what species Bun-Bun was. It was about the strong bond that we had, and that's impossible to replace. None of these can replace Bun-Bun. [starts crying again; goes up to his room]

 **Luna:** Come on, bro!

 **Lynn:** [groaning]Oh, my goodness, dude!

 **Lori:** We may as well just give Lily most of these as birthday presents. Or Christmas presents. Whichever comes first, I guess.

 **Lana:** Why don't we just dig up the old Bun-Bun and put him back together with some tape or something?

[After hearing that, the sisters rush over to Bun-Bun's grave outside.]

[Cut to montage of Leni cleaning off the dirt off of the ripped doll, using a sewing machine to put Bun-Bun back together, and some white sealant paint to make it look as good as new.]

 **Leni:** [to the others] Alright, got Bun-Bun all fixed up!

 **Lori:** Great! Now, we'll just wait until Lincoln goes to sleep, and then just slip him into his room.

[Cut to a depressed Lincoln, getting ready for bed.]

 **Lincoln:** Looks like this will be the first of many nights without my little buddy. [gets into his bed and quietly sobs himself to sleep.]

[4 hours later, a tall silhouette opens Lincoln's door, slides Bun-Bun into a sleeping Lincoln's arms, and closes the door on its way out.]

[Cut to morning. Lincoln wakes up, still depressed. Well, until he comes face to face with a sight for sore eyes.]

 **Lincoln:** [ecstatic] Bun-Bun! You're back! I missed you so much! Wait, how did you come back from the dead?

[Lincoln is answered with silence from Bun-Bun.]

 **Lincoln:** I see. Nevertheless, I'm glad you're back with me, pal!

[This whole scene is heard by the sisters.]

 **Lori:** Well, mission accomplished.

 **Lynn:** At least he won't be a sad sack anymore.

 **Lola:** You know what? He can have Bun-Bun for as long as he wants.

 **Lori and Lynn:** Agreed.

[The sisters walk down to the kitchen. The last one coming down is Lincoln, reunited with Bun-Bun.]

 **Lincoln:** What do you say we have an awesome day that ISN'T anywhere near any cars or banana peels?

[Lincoln is answered with silence from Bun-Bun.]

 **Lincoln:** Great. Me too. [heads down to the kitchen with the others]


End file.
